This was an amazing TED Talk, so much new information from studying ED’s. She made me cry, just knowing there are people out there learning what its really like for us.
My title sounds more confident than I feel right now. It is slowly becoming more real, I am no longer part of a team at home, I am the team most of the time now. That isn’t to take anything away from my husband, he is a fantastic and living dad. Yet either way you look at it, a huge part if my life has changed… Continue reading
Well this last few days has been a wake up call! I have never had to use the emergency services for myself, they are for serious cases and something I do not take lightly. Yet this week, without warning, I had to make that call I never thought I would.
If I could talk to you in confidence life would be much easier, if I could trust you with my fragile emotional state all would be fine. I can’t trust you, as all you will do is hurt me again. We’re not a normal family though, are we mum. Continue reading
Starting this journey to recover from my eating disorder has been the most indepth I have ever gone into my own psyche. It has taken me through some very dark places and I have discovered so much about who I truly am and how I got here. Recently I decided to takle my biggest trigger and perhaps the nucleus of my issues. It has opened the door to lost memories and pain that have held me down. That has led to possibly the biggest change I will ever make. Continue reading
I am working through the emotional turmoil of the last week. It would be safe to say I feel quite depressed at present.
The day I went for my assessment was an emotional one. The fear of what may happen and general emotions of the day left me with a feeling, if I’m going to do this therapy, I need to do it wholeheartedly. That meant I had one problem I haven’t tackled…my narcasistic mother and step father.
Today is one of the days where I am very much aware that the scales have tipped. Today’s balance is in favour of depression.
I managed to keep a binge at bay last night. I’m eating healthy so in that respect things are stable now. It’s taken a few weeks to reach that point again where food has less of a hold over me. Continue reading
We have all heard the story of that date where someone is left standing. The embarrassment and pain that person must feel, is felt as we read or hear about it. No one wants to open themselves up to that situation and feel the rejection. But what if that rejection is in another form. To talk to someone about my condition is immensely difficult. For me to open up about anything is not in my nature. This evening I have just done that. They have been talking about diests i could do, trying to help me. Diets arent part of getting better. So i have given someone I love the chance to understand a little bit if what I’m going through, by reading a couple of pages in my Overcoming Binge Eating Disorder book, explaining the effect diets have on binge eating disorder. They took it, whilst sitting next to me and have placed it on the chair. What was so important that they could look at the first page? Reality bloody TV. The pain is less then it has been in the past. This is far from the first time something important to me, has been dismissed for something so irrelevant. Gives an insight into why I’m so guarded with my emotions.