Expectations v Reality

For the last few weeks I have been feeling the pressure of summer arriving. Sure it’s warmer and we can get out more, if we want to but what about those of us who don’t want to?!
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An Update On My BED Progress

Todays posting seems to have fallen into three distinct categories: Depression, Anxiety and now BED. I didn’t plan it, I rarely write with a plan at all. This is my space for therapy and I go with the emotions at the time, they come out as I write. Continue reading

Anxiety Is Still Ruling My Life

Its not often that there is a gap in my blog posts but I have struggled to know what to share recently. Parts of life have clicked into place and others are floating wildly beyond my grip. I feel like a walking contradiction.
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Carry Something Long Enough, You Forget It’s There

Over the last couple of months I have confronted my biggest trigger. It has sent me backwards to a darker place and given me days where the simplest of tasks has been too much. This confrontation process came to a head recently.

I made a decision to go ahead and say all that I had held in over the years, not just some but absolutely everything, all that I had wanted to have aknowledged and the crushing pain it had caused me. Whether or not I received any validation for my emotions was irrelevant and I said it all to the person involved. Of course my emotions were met with the anticipated brick wall (almost comical in it’s absolute denial) and life carried on…only with a difference I hadn’t anticipated. Continue reading

Sometimes Despite Our Best Efforts, There Is A Bigger Plan At Work

As the title says really,  we may have an idea set out and then an event occurs which takes your life in a totally different direction.
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If We Could Talk Like A Normal Family, I’d Like To Say…

If I could talk to you in confidence life would be much easier, if I could trust you with my fragile emotional state all would be fine. I can’t trust you, as all you will do is hurt me again. We’re not a normal family though, are we mum. Continue reading

This May Be The Biggest Thing I Have Ever Done For Myself

Starting this journey to recover from my eating disorder has been the most indepth I have ever gone into my own psyche. It has taken me through some very dark places and I have discovered so much about who I truly am and how I got here. Recently I decided to takle my biggest trigger and perhaps the nucleus of my issues. It has opened the door to lost memories and pain that have held me down. That has led to possibly the biggest change I will ever make. Continue reading

Backed Into A Corner, Food Is A Shining Beacon

I learnt to recognise what emotions I am feeling and often use positive coping mechanisms, removing the reliance on binges. Only now and then, they are the only option and that is so disheartening when you have made such progress towards getting rid of them.
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If We Said Our Negative Thoughts About Ourselves Out Loud, Could Their Power Over Us Be Removed?

Check this powerful video out from Dove France. It hits home hard but left me with a feeling of empowerment. I don’t have to berate myself and I’d be devastated to hear much loved friends and family talk about themselves or to others the way I do myself. That bitch in my head needs to be gone, she’s no friend of mine any more! Continue reading