A great talk with a great message.
A great talk with a great message.
My recent holiday was the opposite of what I anticipated…
I chose comfort over other peoples opinions. I ate 3+3 every day to fuel my body and felt great. I chose balanced meals over a day and felt more confident in my own ability to look after myself. I had space and time out when I needed to and relaxed because of it. Ultimately I took control of what happened to me and took care of myself. The anxieties were left behind and squashed down, rather than the other way round.
Now, I’m home and keeping these efforts going. I decided: I don’t want to be a version of someone else, I don’t even want to be thin any more. I want to be a stronger version of me!
I read this article from Anastasia today and its a good read but also a little tug back to the positivity path we can lose when ‘that’ time of the month arrives.
It may not be universal, (as the tortures of having periods differs for us all) but personally I have noticed this month, more than ever before, just how much hormones distort my view of myself and blows my confidence to pieces.
Just two days ago the new wardrobe plan was working well, I was positive regarding my appearance and happy with my progress to being happy with me. Today I caught sight of my reflection and the old negative voice was screaming everything wrong with how I look! Too fat, disgusting, I should go home and eat because starving myself won’t work fast enough! You name it was there! I was with my youngest at a school event and had to stop myself spinning on my heels and taking us home, his time was definitely more important, so we stayed and I did the last thing I wanted to do; I sat in a room full of people I don’t know and forced myself to interact, smile and be present in the room.
It took some time to quieten the nagging voice shouting that I was ‘too fat to belong’ and get a grip on reality. I was the same size two days ago, two weeks ago even, all that changed was my perception!
No one in that room even considered my size, clothes or anything at all about me, it was just me! No one ushered me out the door for being an embarrassment or disgrace. I had to make the choice to ignore the self attacks and remember I can’t trust my own mind when my hormones are raging. It was no easy feat and to be honest even though I shut it up, the low and inadequate feeling has lingered all day.
It will be gone in two days, just like the fact that; I won’t be raging inside when I hear my husband eat or breath too loud (I swear I develop supersonic hearing each month!), I won’t hate being touched or not feel good enough because I didn’t empty the dishwasher last night (yeah, that renound activity we use to gauge our personal achievements, the bloody dishwasher, WTF mother nature???!) In two days, after my cramps, aches, pains, bleeding and exhaustion I can reverse the rage mutation and get back to being me!
Just 18 months ago starting out to get myself better was a scary process. The level of panic I felt just considering a life without a diet was all consuming. The only life I could envisage was one where I ate myself into an early grave. In my mind it was giving up and letting food take over my life, my definition of the ultimate failure!
You simply have to watch the trailer on this webpage and share it, like someone else shared with me. We owe it to the next generations of females to change things because how they are now, isn’t acceptable.x
I came across this article recently, I think it’s a pretty important reminder for us all, especially those who habitually put their own needs last. I found it quite moving.
Its not often that there is a gap in my blog posts but I have struggled to know what to share recently. Parts of life have clicked into place and others are floating wildly beyond my grip. I feel like a walking contradiction.
Check this powerful video out from Dove France. It hits home hard but left me with a feeling of empowerment. I don’t have to berate myself and I’d be devastated to hear much loved friends and family talk about themselves or to others the way I do myself. That bitch in my head needs to be gone, she’s no friend of mine any more! Continue reading
I’ve used this quote before but the guy really knew his stuff! Continue reading
Yesterday some wonderful people who share this journey with me gave me words of encouragement and helped pick me back up. I feel better getting up this morning and while out I saw a little sign…. Continue reading