A great talk with a great message.
A great talk with a great message.
So picture this, you’re at a family gathering, sharing time, laughs and catching up with relatives (you know the ones you actually like and can spend time with). Of all the topics of conversation possible: Billy’s new little shit scenarios, Daisy’s graduation from her college programme despite being vietually nocturnal or Granddad’s new fishing record (he caught something after 3 years of saying ‘This is my day’). The possibilites for hearing those great missed moments are endless…so what is talked about most of the day? Eating, size and fucking diets!
Now I get more than most the inner turmoil of walking up to the buffet table and filling a plate in front of others but why do the older generation feel the need to discuss size at this point? Its banded round like a joke about gaining and changing size. Is it any wonder that the more vulnerable shrink away and look at themselves through those eyes?
Why is it so fucking hard to make a connection between how their mouth spouts out crap and the people who stop / imcrease eating, for fear you mean them too, when you talk about being fat?!
I suppose I should point out this us after most being informed discreetly that not only the BED sufferer has an ED but another is slowly slipping into major restrictions with their food? They all gasp and share concern when warned that we need to keep it body positive only (if you need to take about it all. I personally prefer hearing about Billy dragging the plant across the room filling the lounge with soil! Far more entertaining).
Its like watching a snowball grow as the shite conversation gathers pace, almost everyone joining in. Is it a right of passage to being a grown up in the family circle that I wasn’t informed of, my comtibution: screaming ‘cut the crap out’ followed by throwing a plate at the wall, at least mentally anyway.
It wasn’t just a short spell but all bloody day and its damn hard to stay positive when you’re surrounded. In fact I probably over ate to drown it out a bit, whilst trying to gently guide the other one following all the habits I started with so many years ago, funnily enough, surrounded by the same conversations from different people.
I’m kind fighting this one alone because I hope to (well anything inserted here as I’m not religious) that I can use what I’ve learnt to protect them. Whilst I mentally slap those filling the room with body negative chatter, even if they are lovely people the rest of the time.
Anyone wondering, well why didn’t you just change the subject?…hmmm…it turns out when you switch it to politics and the debate of Trump sinking America into the dark ages and the recent European changes, that is short lived because apparently “some people are sensitive about it”. (This is where my head hits the table, I lift it up and drop it again for good measure).
I think I need to get one of those signs put up normally reserved for happy anecdotes on house rules like laughter and fluffy stuff. Only mine will read…Diets are bullshit, weight is just a number and if you take about size I will chase you out the house faster than I hit the bar on a kid free night out!
My therapy course is DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) this link will explain what that is and how it is applied to recovering from eating disorders.
Over my 19 months of tackling this demon of BED I have either been in a state of anxiety or depression. Occasionally they decide the tag team system isn’t enough and make a simultaneous assault. It is what it is and we keep going, until one day you realise something else entirely is going on! Continue reading
Each step on my journey has to be approached with acceptance of the time factor and this is no exception.
Just 18 months ago starting out to get myself better was a scary process. The level of panic I felt just considering a life without a diet was all consuming. The only life I could envisage was one where I ate myself into an early grave. In my mind it was giving up and letting food take over my life, my definition of the ultimate failure!
This diagram is a beautiful over view of how us Empaths are. The article is very thorough, if you haven’t had the chance to meet an Empathy or perhaps you find people often don’t understand when you talk about your responses to various things, it could help you.
Loving an Empath – by Alex Myles – http://wp.me/p2HC5t-Lh
Whether your part of the LGBT community or an Ally its worth a look. This book looks pretty inspiring. There are so many young people who need support or just to know they are accepted. June is Pride month in the US.
Each time I go through a dark period, I come out of it eventually with new found progress. It seems logical that after months of struggling to function day to day, my progress would be greater. Even I have been taken by surprise at the changes that have become apparent in the last couple of weeks. Continue reading