From day one I have hidden who I am on here, it was essential to keep me going. Only now life is quite different, I am a long way from where I started out in January 2014. Where has that time gone? (Most likely hidden in the ups and downs of this rollercoaster journey!) Continue reading
Just 18 months ago starting out to get myself better was a scary process. The level of panic I felt just considering a life without a diet was all consuming. The only life I could envisage was one where I ate myself into an early grave. In my mind it was giving up and letting food take over my life, my definition of the ultimate failure!
Take a scroll through your photo collections, chances are there will be thousands of pictures of giggles with Daddy on happy little faces, birthday presents being ripped open and Grandparents laughing as they dish out cuddles without limit. What you are unlikely to find in these pictures is the one person responsible for capturing those special memories, mum. If she does appear, there may be an attempt at tucking behind someone else in the group or an awkward look that shouts ‘I don’t like having my photo taken’. It is something that I have had to make myself overcome. The reason? I actually want my children to known I existed during their childhood.
Ask yourself honestly, are your children going to be disappointed when they look back and have very little of their mum to see? How she wore her clothes, how her smile was infectious and those hugs that no one else can give, where will the que to those memories be for them?
I came across this article recently, I think it’s a pretty important reminder for us all, especially those who habitually put their own needs last. I found it quite moving.
Todays posting seems to have fallen into three distinct categories: Depression, Anxiety and now BED. I didn’t plan it, I rarely write with a plan at all. This is my space for therapy and I go with the emotions at the time, they come out as I write. Continue reading
Its not often that there is a gap in my blog posts but I have struggled to know what to share recently. Parts of life have clicked into place and others are floating wildly beyond my grip. I feel like a walking contradiction.
Check this powerful video out from Dove France. It hits home hard but left me with a feeling of empowerment. I don’t have to berate myself and I’d be devastated to hear much loved friends and family talk about themselves or to others the way I do myself. That bitch in my head needs to be gone, she’s no friend of mine any more! Continue reading
Wise words, have a look.
When you have an Eating Disorder, Anxiety Disorder or Depression it is hard to see the positives and achievements. Personally I work well with visual aids in all walks of life, so it got me thinking….
what if we could see the good aspects of ourselves in physical form?
If we took a box of lego and placed one brick down for each positive thing about ourselves very soon we can see a wall form. That wall is us, our strength. It can be added to as and when we want and when we reach a new milestone. Those things are always part of us, making up who we are, so bricks don’t ever need to be removed. When you feel low, you can look at the physical version of how strong you are and where you can go next.
How big would your wall get?