Just 18 months ago starting out to get myself better was a scary process. The level of panic I felt just considering a life without a diet was all consuming. The only life I could envisage was one where I ate myself into an early grave. In my mind it was giving up and letting food take over my life, my definition of the ultimate failure!
Well this last few days has been a wake up call! I have never had to use the emergency services for myself, they are for serious cases and something I do not take lightly. Yet this week, without warning, I had to make that call I never thought I would. Continue reading →
Its not often that there is a gap in my blog posts but I have struggled to know what to share recently. Parts of life have clicked into place and others are floating wildly beyond my grip. I feel like a walking contradiction. Continue reading →
Over the last couple of months I have confronted my biggest trigger. It has sent me backwards to a darker place and given me days where the simplest of tasks has been too much. This confrontation process came to a head recently.
I made a decision to go ahead and say all that I had held in over the years, not just some but absolutely everything, all that I had wanted to have aknowledged and the crushing pain it had caused me. Whether or not I received any validation for my emotions was irrelevant and I said it all to the person involved. Of course my emotions were met with the anticipated brick wall (almost comical in it’s absolute denial) and life carried on…only with a difference I hadn’t anticipated. Continue reading →
If I could talk to you in confidence life would be much easier, if I could trust you with my fragile emotional state all would be fine. I can’t trust you, as all you will do is hurt me again. We’re not a normal family though, are we mum. Continue reading →
Yesterday some wonderful people who share this journey with me gave me words of encouragement and helped pick me back up. I feel better getting up this morning and while out I saw a little sign…. Continue reading →