My title sounds more confident than I feel right now. It is slowly becoming more real, I am no longer part of a team at home, I am the team most of the time now. That isn’t to take anything away from my husband, he is a fantastic and living dad. Yet either way you look at it, a huge part if my life has changed…
I still haven’t fallen backwards with binges although the need to comfort eat is quite frequent particularly at the danger time if evenings.
What the stress has fired up is thoughts of weight loss and diets, I absolutely know it’s to distract myself from the intense emotions I’m feeling, so I haven’t caved in. Doing the opposite has been my go to, when I eye up an item of food with thoughts of ” I should avoid that and I will lose weight “, I make myself eat it. It has been rather effective so far in breaking the addictive pull towards restrictions. I can see the chaos it would bring to my mental state and I refuse to go down that dark road again!
I’m still feeling free of my depression and my anxiety hasn’t reared, which was a surprise given my circumstances. I am feeling capable and use my therapy cues to focus on the positives as much as I can. The next change is starting CBT in a few weeks, I’m excited to work on building up my self confidence and strengthening my foundations of who I am and be my own person, It’s most definitely needed right now!