Over my 19 months of tackling this demon of BED I have either been in a state of anxiety or depression. Occasionally they decide the tag team system isn’t enough and make a simultaneous assault. It is what it is and we keep going, until one day you realise something else entirely is going on!
I have been feeling able to get out the front door without considering the prosect and what effects it will have on me. Even going out drinking and actually had a fantastic night without my ED getting a look in. It was only when I thought about how I was feeling overall, that I realised I felt neither depressed or anxious!
My scores are both in the ‘normal’ range which is pretty cool to see (what is that really, I’m not keen on that label).
I’ve filled my calendar with new activities that I want to do. The biggest tell for me is when I have missed medication. The usual panic after half a day and all consuming anxiety doesn’t happen, instead I feel completely fine. I think the time has come to consider reducing them at my next review.
The sense of freedom I have is immense, putting my efforts into finding things for myself has been the best decision. I am stimulating my brain again and I love it!