Take a scroll through your photo collections, chances are there will be thousands of pictures of giggles with Daddy on happy little faces, birthday presents being ripped open and Grandparents laughing as they dish out cuddles without limit. What you are unlikely to find in these pictures is the one person responsible for capturing those special memories, mum. If she does appear, there may be an attempt at tucking behind someone else in the group or an awkward look that shouts ‘I don’t like having my photo taken’. It is something that I have had to make myself overcome. The reason? I actually want my children to known I existed during their childhood.
Ask yourself honestly, are your children going to be disappointed when they look back and have very little of their mum to see? How she wore her clothes, how her smile was infectious and those hugs that no one else can give, where will the que to those memories be for them?
Yesterday some wonderful people who share this journey with me gave me words of encouragement and helped pick me back up. I feel better getting up this morning and while out I saw a little sign…. Continue reading →
Work has begun on my advertising pages for the photography business. It will be a slow start as right now I’m prioritising my time with my kids before the world of school begins.
I won’t be sharing or linking my work with the blog. I need this space to keep on track and heading for that recovery. I will from time to time take shots specifically for the blog. It’s a shame as I wish I could just be up front but the second I reveal myself I would undo all my work. Not doing too badly though…January 2014 I was at my lowest, August 2014 I’m setting up my own business. Dare I say it, I’m a little proud of myself.
The Pendulum of Self Doubt has indeed swung over the last week, although the pace has slowed down somewhat. There is definitely a calmer feeling within today. It may not stay that way but I have some thoughts to try and anchor that pendulum on the side of positivity and confidence…. Continue reading →
Right now I am struggling with the concept that I can achieve something….. Anything. Having taken the tentative steps towards self employment, I am panicking. What if I am no good, what if it fails as none wants to buy my work and what if I have to go back to being an employee? Continue reading →
I got the camera out for a few shots today. This evening looking at make up blogs and photo shoots I can feel the creative buzz returning. I think tomorrow may be a good time to write out some goals for myself to achieve…
I have binging under control, I have coping mechanisms in place but what I don’t have is confidence in myself.This is something I want to change, to not care what people think or how they judge, to feel ok to stand out from the crowd. I will get there but I accept it will be a marathon, not a sprint!