Being in the grip of self loathing, inadequacy and failure is hell. We go round in circles trying to change things, to feel normal and able to step outside without the burning embarrassment our bodies create. How do we stop it? Who could possibly understand or want to be burdened with our crushed self esteem. That’s if we can actually articulate how you feel! Continue reading →
Up until recently I considered days to be for specific activities. Mon-Thursday were work and chores etc. Friday’s were work and then relax at the start of the weekend. Saturday’s you go out and do family stuff and Sunday’s, well those were for sleep and doing as little as possible!
Thin used to be what I wanted, what drove my desire to not eat or eat in the wrong way. It consumed my every thought even through binges. But that’s done!
Fit and healthy is the new sexy and that is what I now aspire to be! I’m already on that journey, I started a while ago and I’ve made progress. All pieces of that puzzle, that I needed to get over this eating disorder.
My last post set my count to 50. This is quite a surprise to me (I know, odd since I write this blog) as I hadn’t kept count of my posts. This simple milestone shows that I have put in more effort to recover than I realised. It’s significant to me because finding alternatives to binging was a big part of this journey and I have succeeded. Many nights I have written a post and pushed past the urge to eat or occupied my thoughts with what I could write. My post can often be in clusters, those are the times i write instead of letting negative thoughts and feelings take over. Right now I have eaten a healthy dinner and I’m avoiding snack on something sweet. I don’t need it and will likely overdo it if I start. These times are not easy but this blog is great therapy for me. Continue reading →
Most binges do not occur at random. Many are triggered by unpleasant events or circumstances including problems with relationships. Even if your binges are not generally triggered by external forces, most people find that developing their problem-solving skills is of value to them. (ChristopherG.Fairburn)Continue reading →