Back to blogging regularly after a long time away. Initially I was doing really well and simply didn’t have the time spare to post anything new. My social life has taken off after some effort and it was all happy and great fun. I guess you could say the high has gone and inevitably I have hit a rough patch. The binges have returned and my eating is pretty horrendous in general, skipping meals, over eating and then the out of control shoveling food. Continue reading →
What do you say when someone pays you a compliment? Does it make you smile and feel happy or proud even?
When someone pays me a compliment I feel awkward, I have no idea what to say , or what a normal person would say anyway. My response at best is ‘thank you, but…’. I find it very easy to pass the credit onto someone else or make a negative comment about said subject. What is even stranger, is that when it comes to criticism, I can accept it readily. I have no problem with taking the blame for mistakes or errors I make. It’s even a relief if I do confess these slip up’s. I fear people thinking I’m conceited or arrogant. I deliberately don’t say when I know something in the hope I can stay unnoticed. This all sounds very sad and a little pathetic really. Describing my good points is hard, but I really need to change this!
Since deciding to share my photography on the blog, I have felt quite liberated. I have had a good response and positive feed back. something I didn’t expect but it feels good. In fact because of this, I have had a renewed surge in creative ideas and enthusiasm for new images.
To be able to keep this up and move forward I need to work on my self worth. I do have talents, I am intelligent and I always give my best to others. I just need apply that sentiment to myself. So as my husband has told me, when someone gives compliment I should take it and perhaps next time think…Yes, I rock, thank you! Obviously thank you will be the only verbalised response. Just writing it makes me smile, so perhaps he has the right idea?!
On an emotional front, things are a little calmer this weekend and much happier. Happiness is very much an indicator of how I eat. Although if it was always either black or white, that would be fantastic. Instead I am living with a series of complicated equations.
What causes a person who’s in a good place to ‘ fall off the wagon’ and go back to all their bad habits and behaviours? All done in the full knowledge of the consequences. The self loathing it will bring, which alone triggers cyclic activities. Why not simply stop? Snap put of it? Get a grip? Hell why not just talk about why your feeling the control slip?