Back to blogging regularly after a long time away. Initially I was doing really well and simply didn’t have the time spare to post anything new. My social life has taken off after some effort and it was all happy and great fun. I guess you could say the high has gone and inevitably I have hit a rough patch. The binges have returned and my eating is pretty horrendous in general, skipping meals, over eating and then the out of control shoveling food.
I have been doing this process for long enough to know only i can make the positive changes I need to make! It has taken me a few days since this realisation to actually get my arse into gear but here I am. My plan is simple, I must get back to releasing my emotions through writing as that is the key to releasing the grip food has over me. This wasn’t something that I expected to happen, it was something that may occur in the future but I guess it was both premature and naive to think i would totally succumb to my BED demons. The positives I can take from this experience is the lesson that when things start to back slide, I need to be much quicker to react before it becomes a full blown relapse.
This blog is for sharing my progress and experinces while I battle to overcome my eating disorder but ultimately I am talking to myself. Getting my thoughts and feeling out of my head makes it more real but also gradually unravels the mess I carry constantly inside. I would talk to people around me but at the moment I have no idea what i feel or where on earth to start explaining any of it. What I do know is that I need to take it one meal at a time and build up, I have the skills and now is the time to put them to use. Autumn and Winter are dangerous time for those of use with GAD and depression so it’s important to start now before it all adds up to something very dark.