There Was A Positive At The End Of The Shit Tunnel Afterall

As I have been documenting, the last few months have been pretty low for me. My eating has been sporadic and gone back over. This last few weeks I have scaled everything back and been looking after myself and it is paying of with some pleasant changes.
I eat breakfast most days, spurred on by  my plan to ask if I want to eat each morning. I am doing my best to eat for fuel giving my body what it needs to run efficiently.

Today something changed… after eating breakfast early, I became hungry mid morning so I ate. By lunchtime I was hungry again which was a surprise. I struggle with exhaustion a lot and today was no exception but I noticed that eating helped to lift that enough to get out of the house again.

I have already had 3 meals and 3 snacks today and I feel much better for it. When my littlest offered me a biscuit, rather than munch it and several others, I didn’t fancy and passed. No doubt eating regularly is better for my metabolism and regularity in bodily functions but I feel a huge sense of pride in myself! I have actually looked after myself properly, that is a big achievement to get here again.

The last few months have shown me clearly that eating very little means you gain weight. I have put on a few pounds (observed over a 3 month period, not 12 hours which is another tick for the positive changes) but that is fine as I know if my body can expect food, I will eventually lose weight. There is no expectation or obsession on the scales, I know that changes can only be seen over months.

In general I feel much better, happiness is creeping back into the dark areas and I feel much more relaxed in general. This is in deed a good week!

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