I’ve used this quote before but the guy really knew his stuff!
I have been swinging between feeling better and having down days but last night a little breakthrough has had me smiling on my school run.
In the depths of depression and anxiety I have let the feelings smother me and drown out the positive voices I allowed into my thoughts. Going out has been hard, pressures have built up and guilt has been ever present. With spring arriving I would normally be happy to soon be in the sunshine. Sadly this year I am dreading the sun as expectations of being outside and happier because sunshine is good for us. The idea makes me anxious as at the moment it is too much stimulation and I don’t want to be in bright light.
I explained my concerns to a friend and she simply asked ‘who are these people that expect you to be this way?’. What a simple and yet brilliant question! I couldn’t answer who they were as it is just a voice within me. I feel I should be this way, anticipating others negative reactions to my depressed state born out of a previous verion of me lostbin FOG. It was a turning point,
I had lost sight of the fact other people’s opinions don’t matter in my recovery, only how I feel about myself is important!
That barrier is now fixed back firmly in place, filtering only positive input from people who want to build me up. Those who wany to knock me down can jog on. It was so nice to walk with a smile, having found some of my inner strength again. Today is a good day and that is what counts.