Tomorrow I have my assessment with an eating disorder clinic.
I am excited to be getting help and proud that I found the courage to ask for it. Yet above all I am terrified!! I have never seen eating disorder specialists. What if they think I am fine and say they can’t help? I know I am not but working on my own over the last year, I have improved my symptoms. What if I come across as more able to cope than I am?
Accepting help is not a strong point of mine, it has always been far safer to do it all alone, life that is. I learnt to rely on and trust my husband but not really much beyond that. Now I really need outside help and being vulnerable is scary. I have got as far as I can by myself, it feels like this next step is the only way forward. I could cry I’m so nervous. I will blog about how it all goes and what happens in the process. Wish me luck.