A couple of evenings ago I sat watching tv not feeling quite myself. When messages arrived in my inbox, their contents filled me with overwhelming anxiety.
Particular words that triggered those feelings had no link. I mentally searched through the events of this week, looking for an event I hadn’t dealt with or emotions I had tried to ‘eat’. Nothing came up. As I explained to my husband how I felt I said the sentence ‘I feel overwhelmingly anxious over irrational things’. The penny dropped, I had forgotten my medication!
I see this as a positive, a reminder of how I felt every second of the day just a couple of months ago. How on earth did I function at all? The anxiety drowned out everything else and left me feeling full of panic and dread. Thankfully after taking my medication I am back on the right track and able to function normally again. It just gave me pause for thought….if I dealt with that for so many years, I can definitely see how getting to grips with my eating disorder was not going to happen. It may have taken a while to realise I needed to but asking for help and taking it was the best step for me. It fills me a new sence of hope for my awaited assessment at the eating disorders clinic.