Today was my first binge in quite a while. I had my GP appointment for depression and anxiety. I am back on medication to help manage my symptoms. I have requested a referal for counselling and the GP has referred me to an eating disorder clinic.
It’s all positive and another set of tools to help my recovery. In order to get help I need, I had to open up about all my emotions and difficulties. It was a bit much as I’m already fragile.
I went to the supermarket for my meds and came out with a pile of food for dinner. I knew what I was doing and I carried on. I wanted to feel better. Mostly I would prefered to go home, have someone cuddle.me and make me feel safe. Tonight thay can’t happen so I ate.
I didn’t eat until I felt ill but I am rather full. Significantly, I know the food wouldn’t make me feel better beyond the initial hit. I still feel sad and alone. I hope my referrals don’t take forever, I’m trying to do all the right things to help myself but I could do with someone to talk to in real life who understands. Counselling helped massively earlier this year, having that outlet again will be a huge help for me. Today isn’t a great day.