Just When You Think It’s Ok, Something Knocks You Right Back

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I just can’t get my anxiety under control. I want to hide away and cry, not have to deal with the world or the people affecting me right now. My work situation is still not resolved and if anything it’s worse. I feel judged and my efforts unappreciated. This is despite working my arse off, helping above and beyond my actual job and the covering someone in management whilst they are on holiday. It’s getting too much and I have no idea what to do. It’s domiating everything in my life. I’m tired,  angry, irritable, low and I keep losing things from lack of concentration. Not knowing what’s happening is my worst nightmare.  I have no way of knowing whether I will have a job in a few weeks. My eating slipped yesterday and today, I feel horrendous. It’s not just not having a job, the pressure that comes with losing it is immense. I know it won’t lift until I find out my fate.

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7 thoughts on “Just When You Think It’s Ok, Something Knocks You Right Back

  1. Sleep

    Hey Elle, give yourself a break with the food, you are only human and most of us would turn to our habitual crutch under the stress you are experiencing…food, screaming at family, alcohol, drugs – it’s normal and could be worse! It’s an uphill bit of the road-that means a downhill will follow eventually! I know the work situation is tough but these are the times that test you, show you how far you have actually come and make you realise you are strong enough to push on further. Calm and easy all the time would be nice, but not real life and not how we grow. So call on your improved self esteem and also that spirituality we talked about before. Try and remember that whatever the outcome you tried your best, some things are simply beyond your control after that…but also know that whichever way it goes you will be ok. Breathe through it sweetheart, and at the point you feel like you are giving so much you are being taken advantage of or taken for granted at work, stop – you are good at your job, you give it full attention, that is enough.

    Reply
    1. Fighting BED Post author

      Thank you for commenting Sleep, it really does help. You’re right it’s beyond my control and I have to accept that. I’ve been chilling out the last few days and getting back on track, I think I’m ok food wise again. Work is disappointing but not the end of the world I guess.x

      Reply
  2. claireodactyl

    I am sorry that you feel this way. I have been where you are with work, and the one thing I can say from experience is stop going above and beyond. Employers will take your heart and soul from you and never appreciate you in return. I have made this mistake so many times and been burned as a result every time. Every single employer I’ve had has stabbed me in the back. This is why I now freelance, it gives me full control, and while I am too sick to work as I am at the moment, I don’t. It’s tough financially, beyond belief. But when I’m well enough to work I’ve never been happier. And people actually appreciate the work I am doing!

    Look out for yourself, put you and your needs first. Your health and well being are far more important than your employers needs. Take a deep breath and put today’s eating mishap down to experience and don’t dwell on it. All of is with mental health illness have our demons but it’s how we face them and keep going that show those demons who is boss.

    Stay strong xxx

    Reply
    1. Fighting BED Post author

      Thank you for your comment. It did make me feel better. I’ve been offline, getting back on track for a few of days. You’re decision with work gave me something to think about. I’m ok today with the food I think. My training has helped too. Fingers crossed it was just a small bumo and it’s dine now. I hope you’re having a good weekend.x

      Reply
      1. claireodactyl

        I am glad my comment helped…always happy to talk, you can always email me if you want to talk.. pillsandspills at gmail dot com 😀

        Glad you are doing better now, and sometimes a few days offline is good for the soul, I did this last week!

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