For the last 17 years of my journey through life, there has been one constant…Pheobe. I have moved a lot and we don’t see each other very often (Perhaps a couple of times a year). She has saved me from myself and the dark moments of depression and anxiety so many times. She is not just my best friend but (although we may not be related), to me she is my sister.
Now Phoebe is not actually her name, but I know when reading this she will probably laugh her head off at my choice. We have gone through the trials and embarrassment of teenage years, tears and laughter of our twenties and into the scariness and wonder of motherhood at the same time.So many changes and so many different life experiences. I moved away from Phoebe a long time ago, yet when we talk or are together there is no distance. We are crazy as each other and know each other inside and out.
I don’t think there is a better friend in the world than Pheobe (I’m smiling everytime I write this and she will know it). There isn’t anything I couldn’t ask of her and in return there isnt anything I wouldn’t do for her. She has listened to me cry, be adamant I’m making the right choices while i blunder into another fuck up and laughed with me till we almost pee. I can tell phoebe anything about me and she knows more about me than my husband. I absolutely trust her with my life. You see we don’t just share a wonderful friendship, but we also share the battle with depression and anxiety. We have our own histories and experiences but ultimately we know how the other is feeling like no one else can. A recent conversation we had summed it up for me, when she was feeling immensely low after we chatted she said ‘I just needed to talk to someone not normal’. That to me was a huge compliment because we are quite unique and together we can pick each other up by using our own knowledge of these horrible conditions.
When I need an honest voice she is always there, telling me what I need to hear rather than what I want. Her love for those important to her, family, friends and even those she can help is immense. She always puts others before herself, even at times when she really could just do with looking after herself. I admire her strenght and ability to fight back like no otger. The number of times I have seen her go through depressions grip. Yet no matter what she soldiers on. Not everyone can see how much determination this takes, to get back up, but I can. She is such an inspiration to me! That ability to overcome is what I see most when look at her. It’s a very rare thing for phoebe to open up and ask for help or even just let those around her know all is not ok. Quite often I can pick up on this without her telling me, from hundreds of miles away. I’d like to say I’m psychic, but social media facilitates our random daily chats and keeps our lives together. Wven so I think it’s a sign of the bond we share.
If I had only one wish in life, I would use it to make life easier for my wonderful friend. She has given me so much in love, support and friendship. If everyone had a friend like phoebe, the world would be a much better place. Without her I really wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today. Helping her to smile and supporting her through what ever life throws up, is a promise I will keep forever.
So my wonderful sister, I’d like to say, thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you the world over and will forever be grateful that I get to go through life with you by my side. x