I have slowly got used to the idea that running is off the cards for time being. I can say that without crying now, which is good. I don’t think anyone would understand anyway, It’s not like I’m the new Mo Farrah! In fact peole probably think I just make it up. I recently had someone ask me, how I’m not thin after running about with my energetic kids. All I could do was laugh and carry on. I hope my face hid my shock well enough.
I was feeling rather dejected on friday. Until someone said to me ‘you’re still a runner, you’re just carrying an injury’. That was such a relief and the way I need to be looking at it. My all or nothing approch still needs a lot of work I guess! I’m incredibly grateful for the support I am receiving online and feel like I’m making some new friendships, with people who understand the complications of an eating disorder. Not just for my own benefit. Knowing we can support each other gives you purpose I think. But as it’s via the Internet, the pressure of real life isn’t there. We can appear and disappear at will, depending on our mood and ability to cope each day (not to mention availability on day to day life). Even if i wake in the nihhg i can leave a message and someone can respond later. I’d definitely recommend it to anyone wanting support or looking for it. I’m on Mumsnet and find it an invaluable resource for my recovery. There is even a new section for eating disorders.