The Curve Ball Just Smacked Me In The Face!

What a crap day! After weeks of pain, I finally went to the GP today, to get my back checked.

It was more a precautionary thing really after a word from the hubby last night. (To be fair I had just got off the chair with less finess than at 9 months pregnant). I went in expecting to be told ‘man up’. What he actually said was, I have injured my back and shouldn’t be running. (That was the ball in face moment). This came after running a personal best last night. I made it to my car before I cried.

Doing the Survival of The Fittest is incredibly important to me.Perhaps more than I realised. Being fit enough to take part would be a fantastic change for me. I started 2014 very overweight and unfit. My weight hasn’t really changed but my fitness has dramatically improved and with that my overall health. However it’s not certain whether I can get ready in time now. My inital thought was to simply ignore his advice and carry on. But common sense has kicked in. I know all too well the danger of not treating a back condition seriously (you will have to take my word for it, to explain why would out me to anyone I know). But it doesn’t make it any easier to accept right now. Training has become a massive part of my recovery.  It’s not something I do because I have to, I love doing it. I’m still allowed to swim, but that’s not where I want to be. I’ve always been a swimmer and never a runner. But I have changed that perception of myself I can do it and I have been rather proud of my achievement so far.

The initial upset has calmed down and I will look into getting a private physio session, in the hope I can do something to promote my recovery. (The main barrier to this will be cost). The idea of not training makes me feel like a failure. That has the potential to be a significant trigger for extended binges and depressive moods. Something I will have to be aware of in the next couple of weeks.


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