Mothers Day, Full of Happiness or Triggers and Tears?

As a mum of two small children,  today is an important one for me. Not for the anticipation of presents or being taken out. Just simply because it’s a pause in the craziness of family life, to look at each other and appreciate what we have. I am incredibly proud of my kids and the cuddles I had today are very precious to me. Perhaps a little more than just a few hours ago.

Today I have had the chance to see a few different perspectives this day had to offer. The first was the phrase “I haven’t seen my mum for over fifty years”. That was quite a hard hitting sentence from someone who lost their mum as a teenager.   I think a lot of us, me included, forget about those going through today with a grieving heart. This was said by a man, who I think would probably have felt overlooked on a day dedicated to women.

The second was from a lady who said she felt guilt for not being with her mum today. With tears in her eyes she talked about her mum who isn’t here anymore. Not physically,  but mentally. Her mum suffers from dementia and lives in a home, unaware of her family and the fact she has three grown up daughters. For all three, today is a reminder of a different kind of loss.

The third experience I have had is of someone who avoids getting involved in this day at all costs. She has a strained relationship with her mum. There won’t be any family get together for her today.

These experiences will felt by many people. Some of them will cope and move through the day, onto tomorrow. Some people won’t. I imagine today will be a catalyst for many people to drop out of recovery, drink, take drugs binge, purge, starve themselves and generally regress. So perhaps if we take the time to look a little longer than normal, at those around us. (Because we don’t ware a badge letting everyone know we suffer from disorders). Maybe some of the them could do with a hand to hold and an ear to listen a hug or just a friendly smile. Just maybe, it could be enough for them to keep going and not look to less positive coping mechanisms.

My final thoughts on this subject go out to all the families waiting for news on missing Malaysia flight MH370. I don’t think there are enough words to describe their word right now.

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