January 3rd 2014
This week is my first step into the recovery. At least that is the plan. I have two things I need to tackle really, one is my eating disorder and the other is my mental health. Both are intrinsically linked and peeling the two apart is impossible. But non- the less, I have two factors to a very large problem.
The plan as it stands for this year is as follows;
- To be able to stop my association between food and my emotions. I may as well say climb Mount Everest naked as that seems more doable than my own task.
- To not over eat and continue on the path of self destruction I’m currently skipping down.
- To improve the opinion I have of myself. No mean feat when you self confidence has hidden in some far flung place!
So three very huge tasks! I plan on giving myself this year to improve. I’m not sure if the will restrict me or be a structure that helps me to reach a healthier place? But if I don’t at least try to battle my demons, the outlook is not a rosy one. My tools of choice are Beat help groups, CBT and Overcoming Binge Eating Second Edition.
My current expectations are very scrambled. Trying to think of where I want to be right now simply triggers a mass of thoughts that really aren’t helpful. So I shall go forward, document my attempts and hope to improve.