A Difficult Day – Binge

Today was my first binge in quite a while. I had my GP appointment for depression and anxiety. I am back on medication to help manage my symptoms. I have requested a referal for counselling and the GP has referred me to an eating disorder clinic. Continue reading

Making Good Progress

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I made it through last week and the weekend without ordering take out. That’s a good start to shaking up what I eat. We ate a McDonald’s but that was due to our location, so I skipped the bun and had lots of chicken instead. The difference is I chose to eat home cooked and the fast food. Neither choice was with angst or stress. I may have found choosing what to eat a bit of a long process but I got there in th end, without taking an easy option.
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A Re-education

Previous attempts to lose weight have always been about fitting in, smaller clothes and massively (unsustainable) restrictions. I can now see that the focus being on what I couldn’t have, was always going to make diets ineffective.

Everything was centred around not having certain foods and then allowing them in as treats. This time I have to switch my thoughts to what I can have and find lots of it. Continue reading

Doing Something Right

This morning my children gave me a little sign that I am doing ok by them. Breaking the cyclic grip of ED and not passing it on. Continue reading

Dysfunctional Scaffolding

After posting about achievements I inevitably have a bit of an emotional crash and feel low. I had a breakthrough of a possible cause last night.
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All We Can Be….

Forgiveness is allowed. We can’t be everything to everyone. We don’t have to be in control all the time. We are allowed to be flawed, everyone is. Everyone!

Accept you and all that you are. You are greater than you know!

Unlock what you hide from others theough fear. You are capable of so much!

Let go. Let go of all the negative comments,  opinions and comments. They do not difine you, you do!

Move forward and have faith in youself. You will surprise youself!

All this is within your reach. Take it one step at a time and you will make progress.

Make your own goals and targets to achieve.  No one else can do that, no matter what they think or say. Those that matter will help you up. Those thay don’t….leave them behind in your thoughts. Build your own walls around their attempts to drive you down.

Make the choice to not accept being told you can’t. Don’t look for validation in those that have crushed you before,  they will do it again. Use your achievements to show yourself how wrong they are.

You can succeed! Choose to believe it and if you can’t get there yet. Choose to try and change that.x

What Lies Within

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Being in the grip of self loathing, inadequacy and failure is hell. We go round in circles trying to change things, to feel normal and able to step outside without the burning embarrassment our bodies create. How do we stop it? Who could possibly understand or want to be burdened with our crushed self esteem. That’s if we can actually articulate how you feel!
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A Little Relief

Having made a call to get some help for how I’m feeling, a weight has been lifted. I suppose that would be the burden of trying to carry all of this on my own. It puzzles me why we feel the need to try and cope alone with something so life changing.
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Taking My Own Advice!

I have been trying to stay srong, keep going and doing this alone. I’m not helping anyone,  least of all myself! Having been caught in the consequences of someone elses refusal to get hep for depression,  I had a word with myself when I read my lasy post back. My appointment with the GP is booked. I will go and get help and accept that I can do it all alone. My husband needs it too, I don’t want him having to deal with the consequences of me sticking my head in the sand.